“Do I have anything in my teeth?”

#5 of 5 Alan Krumwiede played by Jude Law in Contagion (2011). I never followed the plot (loosely termed) of this movie, I was too distracted by Jude Law’s teeth.

Interesting fact To promote this film, Warner Bros. Pictures Canada built two giant Petri dishes treated with bacteria and fungi and set them in a Toronto storefront window. Over several days, the bacteria and fungi specimens grew to spell out the name of the film and form biohazard symbols (IMDB). They could’ve just put up a giant poster of gap-toothed Jude.


She has to pay for that little guy when she gets on the bus

#4 of 5 Nanny McPhee (2005) I’m glad this was never released in 3D. She could take someone’s eye out with that tooth.

Interesting fact Apparently Emma Thompson’s make-up for this role only took an hour to complete.

Clue for #5 – guess the movie & character! Jude Law may have actually stopped brushing his teeth in preparation for this role. Method acting gone too far.

Show us those pearly whites

Show us those pearly whites

#3 of 5 Regan (the possessed version, you guys) in The Exorcist (1973).

Interesting fact What’s more disturbing than Regan’s teeth? This teaser trailer for the movie’s release was banned back in 1973 because it was deemed too horrifying for audiences.

Clue for #4 – guess the movie & character! Emma Thompson looking not quite her best


Teen dystopia at it’s darkest. We’ve all experienced the racy chaos and the tragic tribulations of being a 13 year old (and/or being a mother of one) just perhaps – reassuringly – not all to the extent which Catherine Hardwicke’s Thirteen explores.

Initial thoughts: Hardwicke’s intrusive camera lurches into each and every scene with a turbulence that matches the lives of everyone involved in the disturbing adolescent ordeals. But adolescence isn’t being demonized, it’s frankly portrayed in a matter-of-fact way (they’re a group of 13-year-olds doing things that 21-year-olds do … drugs, sex, alcohol, piercings, tattoos); it’s the effects that adolescence can have which are centralized here. What I love about Thirteen is that it’s not exploring what these transgressions cause, instead it’s observing what they can extrapolate. All the underlying pain that these characters are experiencing is forced out, whether it’s Tracy’s frustration and desires to be a consistent and needed part of a group or family, Evie’s painful past (which we never really learn fully about) or Melanie’s fear of her daughter slipping away. The most interesting part was how Tracy and her mother connected through their altercations, when the second they stopped screaming at each other their eyes met and in that second they could understand each other’s pain.

Favourite scene: Had to be the first stand-off between Evie and Tracy, when they’re checking out each other’s attire. We experience extra-close shots of their bracelets, their shoes, Evie’s belly button ring and more as they size each other up. Mean Girls sees the funny side to this scenario and runs with it.

Cast: Holly Hunter stood out for me in this one. I felt her anguish so badly and I’m not even a mother.

Overall, a brutally simplistic depiction of the throes of being thirteen, with some haunting performances and pretty gripping cinematography.


This makes Steve Buscemi’s teeth look like Brad Pitt’s

#2 of 5 Jafar in disguise (Aladdin, 1992). I am a huge fan of the Disney classics – who isn’t? And Aladdin was one of my favourites. Aladdin coming across this old wretched guy in the dungeon was always one of the most intriguing moments of the film, because I loved the detail in this disgustingly brilliant character. Someone get the lad a toothbrush.

Interesting fact Whenever Aladdin tells a lie in this movie, the feather plume on his hat falls over his face.

Clue for #3 – guess the movie & character! Captain Howdy says grab some tic tacs


“Fuck you, Leslie!”

#1 of 5 Aileen (played brilliantly by the very bold Charlize Theron) in Monster (2003).

Interesting fact Apparently Theron struggled to complete one of the kissing scenes with her on screen love interest, Christina Ricci – she couldn’t stop laughing because the false teeth kept falling out. Phew, they’re fake.

Clue for #2 – guess the movie & character! Voiced by Jonathon Freeman, played by cartoon version of an alcoholic and homeless Gandalf